Friday, February 6, 2009

: > /

Up early. Can't sleep. Woke at about 4:30 because of a digestive problem. That will be a problem for a week now following the IGg treatment.
This last month hasn't been so good. Not horrible but never quite good. I hope this month will be better.
I have for a long time needed something to occupy me that would help me feel more self-worth. It's been a long couple of years and I steadily declined until I had less and less that made me feel that I was doing something productive. I've tried to look at this as a time to rest and get closer to my family and it has been that. I am very greatful for the time I've had to just hang out with my (adult) children. For a long time one worked at home and that was a great opportunity to be together. Another works nearby and comes to lunch at least once a week which is also good. The other works farther away and then is busy with home and family so I see frustratingly little of her and her family but it's getting better.
One thing has been a big help. For Christmas my husband gave me a drawing instruction book and it has made a very nice difference in my life. I have been surprised how well I've done with it. I can actually draw something and have it look pretty much like the subject. Who knew? I find that I really love doing it. It can be a source of great frustration but also great satisfaction. One thing that has amazed me is that I don't mind showing my drawings to people, even when they are in progress. I have found that after looking at a drawing for too long I can't always "see it" properly and another person's fresh look can help. I have a nephew (whom I am not very close to) who is an artist. Maybe he wouldn't mind a little advice. I can only ask.
I'm starting to get a headache. Heavy squeezing feeling and pain in my neck. I think it's time to stop typing and rest. (or maybe draw a little)

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